Page 4 - MidWeek - August 3, 2022
P. 4

            Remotely Insane
“What’s the most unique item you have in your fridge?”
Ihave always considered myself to be a regular guy. Not famous, certainly not rich nor am I smart like the Elon Musks of the world. That being said, I am tremendously grateful for my wife and kids, my job and co-workers, and friends and family. I never had it so good.
    But being a regular guy exposes me to real world problems. I recently had to connect my car garage re- mote to our garage door. The car I own is 15 years old. We installed a fairly new garage door opener and since then, my car’s remote wouldn’t work. I called my most excellent garage door installer, Don, and asked what I could do. He said to go online and order what’s called a repeater. It’s made to program the garage door frequency in older cars like mine.
Registered Nurse, Kāne‘ohe
“Rubber bands for my spear guns.”
Instructional Designer, Honolulu
“Korean sheet masks. They’re the best way to chill out (literally) on ‘Self- Care Sunday’ or any other day.”
Content Creator, Kalihi
“Natto — why not? It’s all about that slimy goodness.”
Real Estate Professional, Kapolei
“Salted eggs. Growing up, my mom would serve it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.”
Well, when the unit finally came in, I decided to install it myself. I mean how hard could it possibly be? I first had to find an outlet in the garage to plug in the frequency modulator. (I just made that name up.) Then I read my car’s instruction manual on how to program the built-in remote. I felt like the instructions were for how to implement a nuclear launch code! Here is an excerpt:
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          WAll ‘Bout The Money
hat goes through your mind when you are paying for something? It’s natural to think about how much it’s costing you. These
 days, you may even wonder if you’ll have enough to cover everything.
 Money’s been a topic of late, and it helps to refocus in this way. The next time you spend, consciously note the benefit received. For example, having dinner out means no dirty dishes to wash and a savings of time. High cost of gasoline? Well, you can get to places conveniently. Big dental bill? You can enjoy eating without pain. Paying rent or mortgage? You at least have a place to sleep.
 Even if you spend money on something “frivolous,” you receive something. Next time money goes out, focus on appreciating what you have received, and remember there’s always two sides to every story.
     “Keep the two outer buttons 1 and 3 depressed for approximately 20 seconds until light-emitting diode A begins to flash quickly. All programmed signals of buttons 1 to 3 are deleted. To synchronize the system, press the programming button on the receiver for the garage door actuator. Afterwards, you usually have ap- proximately 30 seconds to initiate the next step. Press the allocated button twice. In some cases, the allocated button must be pressed a third time in order to complete the setting process.”
   What did I just read? It reminded me of when I was 8 years old and my mom went into a Japanese tirade. I had just rewired my battery slot car racetrack to plug into an outlet. I blew all the fuses and the power went out.
I know she was concerned that I could have gotten electrocuted. But of everything she said, I only recog- nized the last word: “Bakatare!”
Anyhow, I finally got the car remote to work.
Later that evening, my wife went into the garage to do her daily treadmill workout. I guess when I added the “modulator,” I overloaded the circuit. So, when she started up on the treadmill, the circuit breaker tripped and the power went out. That’s when I heard my wife yell something out and it wasn’t “Bakatare!”

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