Page 21 - MidWeek - January 18, 2023

BEACH CLEANUP
Volunteers are needed to help beautify the island. The community is invited to participate in a beach cleanup at Waimānalo Beach Park with nonprofit WeGo!, which was founded by Punahou School
student Kylee Hamamoto.
Sunday, Jan. 22, 10 a.m.-noon
For more info, visit @wego.hawaii on Instagram
22 JAN
JANUARY 18, 2023 MIDWEEK 21
PHOTO COURTESY IRWIN SANTOS/GEORGE ITO
PHOTO COURTESY WEGO!
EYEGLASS COLLECTION
Take part in Hawai‘i Lions Clubs’ eyeglass
and hearing aid collection. Donate those items to the Lions Recycle For Sight program, which will
be at various Walmart locations throughout the island. Addition- ally, Lions stationed at Kāhala Mall will be offering free vision screen- ings at 10 a.m.
Saturday, Jan. 21, 8 a.m.-2 p.m. For more info, visit hawaiilions.org
PATERNITY WARD
D. L. Stewart
A List Of Flat Notes
21 JAN
CLEARANCE CABINETS starting at $30 ea
REMNANT COUNTER TOPS Starting at $50
FREE ESTIMATES
New Construction, Kitchen & Bathroom Renovation
VISIT OUR RETAIL STORE
Cabinets, Faucets, Tiles, Sinks, Solid Wood, Flooring, Granite, Quartz, Mirrors, LED Lighting and more!
OPEN Mon-Sat, 8am-5pm | 155 Sand Island Access Rd. CALL (808) 848-8820 | Email rui@ruibuildingsupply.com WEB ruisupplyandconstruction.com | License BC28870
CFA Championship, Premiership, Kitten & Household Companion Cats
Our Cat Bazaar will be open! Many unique, hand-crafted items for pets and people made with love & donated by our talented club members!
Satur
Adults $8 | Seniors 65+ | Children under 10 | Military $6 Children 5 & under FREE
m Neal Blaisdell Center - Pikake Room
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Photo by: Larry Johnson Photography
For more information contact: Donna Fujie (808) 291-5868
or
Kira Aoki (808) 457-6973
www.catfanciersofhawaii.com
4 Cat Show Rings
4 CFA Show Judges Ellyn Honey, AB/HHP Anne Mathis, AB/HHP Vicki Nye, AB/HHP
Jan Rogers, AB/HHP
I’ll be the first to admit I’ m not a music author- ity. Rolling Stone, on the other hand, will be the first to admit that it is THE authority. So the magazine has bestowed upon the world “The 200 Best Singers of All Time” list.
out because, as the maga- zine explained, “Keep in mind that this is the Great- est Singers List, not the Greatest Voices List. Tal- ent is impressive; genius is transcendent.” I don’t know what that means and I’ m not sure they do either.
No. 143, based partly on his ability to do a backflip off a speaker).
To save you from having to search for it, wasting time that could be better-wasted reading this column, it starts with Rosalie at No. 200 and ascends to Aretha Franklin at No. 1.
Whatever it means, she didn’t make the list, but Bob Dylan (15), Rod Stew- art (49), and Willie Nelson (54) did, even though all three sound as if they had their vocal cords surgically removed as children.
Along those who are re- making the world with their open mouths are:
As the magazine expected — and hoped — the list has drawn lots of controversy. Is Beyonce (8) really a bet- ter singer than Diana Ross (87)?
•OzzyOsbourne (112). “His bombastic shout,” the magazine wrote, “is reminiscent of drill bits and electric guitar feed- back.”
How dare you put Fred- die Mercury (14) ahead of James Brown (44)? Barbra Streisand’s only 147? Are you kidding me?
• Poly Styrene (195), “a tiny, biracial dynamo who delivers her brainy lyrics in a ‘gleefully unholy screech.’”
Even more arguable are the names that didn’t make the list. Tony Bennett. Ma- donna. Jennifer Hudson. Cher.
Apparently the number of buyers of the more than 100 million records Lucia- no Pavarotti sold was not enough to qualify as “mass- es.” (There was, however, a Jamaican singer named Lu- ciano on the list; he made
So skip the music lessons and voice training, aspiring singers — screeching, shout- ing yowling and howling is what will help you remake the world.
And generating the loudest protests — Celine Dion.
But remember to practice your backflip.
Presumably she missed
To make the list even more exclusive, it ignored opera singers, declar- ing, “That’s because our purview is pop music writ large, meaning that almost all the artists on this list had significant careers as cross- over stars making popular music for the masses.”
• Joe Strummer (125) whose voice is a “deceptively gruff yowl.”
The 200 who did make the list, the magazine added, are those who “can remake the world just by opening their mouths,” although the same could be said of Elon Musk.
• Glen Danzig (199) who has “more of a deep, howling, kind of beastier voice.”