Page 4 - MidWeek - May 4, 2022

4 MIDWEEK MAY 4, 2022
I Laws of the Universe
“How are you celebrating Mother’s Day this year?”
have come to the realization that there are hard and fast laws of the universe that rule my life. I know this from practical experience and they are not just one-
offs. These laws seem to apply throughout my daily life. Here they are in no particular order:
I always have to replace the empty toilet paper roll in our bathroom.
When looking for a parking space, and one opens up, there is always one car in front of me who gets it.
CARA BAIR
Baker, Kāne‘ohe
“We are a little behind on planning this year. We are having brunch and dinner with family, but haven’t decided on where yet.”
JAMES GANIGAN
Working Foreman, ‘Aiea
“Spend some quality time with my wife and our boy, Noah, and eat good food.”
TAYLOR MURAKAMI
HR Generalist, Waipahu
“Hopefully I’ll sleep in, breakfast will be cooked, chores are done ... Ah, who am I kidding? It will be like any other day.”
DANNEN CABRAL
Sales Associate, ‘Ewa Beach
“Most likely taking my mom out to brunch at her favorite restaurant, then taking her to Ross — her favorite store — to treat her to a mini shopping spree.”
My smart phone battery always runs out when I’m wait- ing for an important call or text.
Regarding my smart phone, it only rings when I’m in the restroom at work.
Whenever I change the TV channel to avoid seeing a commercial, the channel I change it to is also running a commercial.
The shopping cart I pull always has one bad wheel.
Toast takes twice as long when you’re waiting and watching for it to pop up.
Ron Nagasawa
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The Stories We R Tell Ourselves
ecently, I was talking to someone who was upset by another’s response and took it very personally. It reminded me that our mind can
play tricks on us by generating stories that give us negative insight, leading us toward conclusions that may not be true. For example, if someone is a bit cool to you, you could jump to the conclusion that you did something to offend them when in fact, they may simply be preoccupied by something else.
Catch yourself next time you make an assumption that makes you feel bad. Instead, ask yourself, “Is this story absolutely true?” Then, “What’s another story or possibility?” We are not mind readers, but we can use our mind to help us feel better, not worse.
alice@yourhappinessu.com
My wife’s drive-thru coffee order is always made wrong.
I can never find the piece of clothing in the morning that I was anticipating wearing the night before.
The longest lines at the gas pump are the ones with cars that have the gas tank door on the same side as mine.
For 97% of the phone numbers I call, an automated message answers.
You can always get a toothpick at the register of a Chi- nese restaurant.
In the same month that I have an expensive house, ap- pliance or auto repair, my car registration will be due.
With any Keurig machine that I plan to make a cup of coffee, I will have to refill the water reservoir (see toilet paper roll replacement).
If I have a nearly flat tire needing air, every air dispens- ing machine I drive to will be out of order.
All the birds in the trees where I park at work, know exactly when I’ve just washed and waxed my car.
My morning drive coffee only leaks on me when I’m wearing a white shirt.
Whenever the batteries in my television remote dies, I never have any AAA replacement batteries in the house. Same goes for my garage remote and CR2032 “coin” bat- teries.
When using squeeze bottle dispensers for ketchup and mustard, I will first get a copious douse of ketchup and mustard “water” on my burger or hot dog.
rnagasawa@midweek.com