Page 32 - MidWeek - Aug 4 2021

32 MIDWEEK AUGUST 4, 2021
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I’m a woman in my early 20s. The guy I’ m dating brought
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me to meet his friends. His male friends were warm and friendly. The women were awful. One deliberately kept saying my name wrong (it’s not exactly exotic), and two others glared at my mini- skirt. Another said some- thing about how low-cut my top was. She made it sound like a compliment, but it was a mean dig. How can these women be so nasty when they don’ t even know me? How do I diffuse situations like these? – Upset
Nothing like women celebrating other women: “Way to go, girl! Showing everything but your areo- las.”
actually nasty digs. Give a woman’s confidence a beat- down and she might dim her shine (cover her miniskirt with a shawl and wipe that sexy red lipstick off on her sleeve).
a tight, low-cut shirt). Dressed conservatively, she was “barely noticed by the participants.” When she entered in skin-bar- ing sexywear, almost all the women “aggressed against her.” They rolled their eyes at her, gave her “once-overs,” and shot her “death stares.” After she left, many laughed at her, ridiculed her appearance, and/or suggested she was a man-hopping sleaze.
You’re a target for the she-hyenas whenever you wear sexy clothing and makeup (like an intense smoky eye with winged eyeliner). Decide wheth- er you have the emotional strength and social capital to bear the glares and back- biting, or whether you need to, say, stock up on some floor-length prairie dresses. This isn’t to say you should immediately assume the worst of all women. How- ever, understanding what you can expect from some might help you stand tall in the face of an attack — re- membering that it’s about them, not about you, when they imply that your bed- room’s visitors log rivals Ellis Island’s.
When a man has a beef with another man, he’ll be direct about it: hurl in- sults at the guy’s face and maybe try to renovate his jaw with a barstool. Wom- en fight sneaky-dirty with other women, using covert tactics, explains psycholo- gist Anne Campbell. These include mobilizing a group of women to ostracize a woman, talking trash to men about her looks and how “loose” she is, and offer- ing “compliments” that are
Psychologist Tracy Vail- lancourt separated female research participants into random groups. She com- pared one group’s reactions to a 20-something woman walking into a classroom dressed “conservatively” (in a loosely fitting shirt and khaki slacks) with the other group’s reac- tions to the same woman dressed “provocatively” (in a very short skirt and
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CALI