Page 2 - MidWeek - June 2, 2021

2 MIDWEEK JUNE 2, 2021
CHASING THE LIGHT
with Patricia Espiritu Halagao
In The Passenger Seat
‘I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made Wthem feel.’ — Maya Angelou
Three generations exploring together at Bayon Temple in Angkor Thom City, Cambodia, in 2019. PHOTOS COURTESY PATRICIA ESPIRITU HALAGAO
YA Brave, New World
e were caught in a torrential downpour, and we were lost. Together, the two of us nav-
ou sense, feel and see it. Change is finally upon us, as (some) things get back to normal. We all wanted it; we all asked for it. Well, actually we
igated backstreets knee-deep in water in our little green rental car, trying to get back to our hotel. My mom sat in the passenger seat, remaining calm and gen- tly assuring me we would find our way through the flooded streets.
to be her. Maybe it’s not about teaching her a lesson on perspective or letting her know if she is right or wrong. Rather, the lesson as a parent is just to listen and show her that I care; that I am here encouraging her to move forward. Now I’m sitting in the passenger seat watch- ing my children grow up. Sometimes the skies are sunny; sometimes, it feels like a torrential downpour. I need to trust they’ll find their way. Meanwhile, they can know I am by their side supporting them every step of the way.
Patricia Espiritu Halagao is a profes- sor and chair of the Department of Cur- riculum Studies at University of Hawai‘i at Mānoa, and served on the Hawai‘i Board of Education. She is mom to Ma- rissa and Jordan, always encouraging them to be proud of who they are, excel at school and give back to the community.
Chasing The Light is produced by Lynne Johnson and Robin Stephens Rohr.
wanted all the things we really missed, but not the rest. Last year’s secluded beaches are no longer secluded. Brisk, weekday drives to and from town are not so brisk now. Shopping — as we kept our masks up and our mileage down — was a breeze, although lines now form at many spots. Great for retail, not so great for us, or at least our mindsets, which evolved during the deepest,
We were in American Samoa, where I was in the midst of my first teaching assignment abroad. Mom had traveled thousands of miles to accompany me. Even though she was a retired physi- cian, she was happy to act as my teach- ing assistant.
darkest days of the damn-demic.
We couldn’t really visit anyone, yet the quiet turned
Every morning, she’ d greet my stu- dents and have them sign in. After, we’d talk about class or drive around the island exploring. Our mother-daughter bond, which had been tested during my teen years, was strengthened. We experienced a new culture together.
out to be quite refreshing at times. We couldn’t go to movies, restaurants and crowded live events, but we still found ways to entertain ourselves, or, even better, focus on our families (after all, they were stuck at home, too). We’re now at an inflection point as we start choosing how to go forward, assuming vaccination numbers con- tinue to climb and the coronavirus cases fall.
What I most remember from this time was our being together and my mother’s support. Now I am a mother myself, I can
social issues that can escalate into emo- tional arguments. As parents, we often think our role is to teach our children things, to let them know what is best for them. I am no different. But in the end, I know my daughter just wants to feel heard, validated and supported as she is figuring out the world. What lessons are learned? How can she see other perspec- tives and empathize?
We must again accept longer wait times, more peo- ple, cars and items sold out at stores. Get reacquainted with circling parking lots in search of a space. We must accept (at some level) that tourism is the big engine that drives our economic train. Can it morph, become more sustainable, encourage greater empathy on both sides — local and tourist? Perhaps, but that’s not happening this month.
see from the other side that it’s compli- cated. Lately my teenage daughter and I have been clashing over how we com- municate. She has passionate beliefs on
Real changes to how we interact as a species might be a vestige of this coronavirus era, but those will be left up to each individual.
KELLEY
New Century Schoolbook bold (scaled H 73.6)
As I ask these questions, it requires me to do the same, that is, to try to un- derstand her viewpoint, what it feels like
Will you remain responsive at home to loved ones or disappear, as perhaps you used to do on weekends? Will you work in a home/office hybrid world (if your job permits) to allow for a better work-life balance? Will your presumed workplace be accommodating, or might you soon ply your trade elsewhere?
And remember, thousands still suffer from the pan- demic shutdown — poverty, lack of food, rent mor- atorium end date concerns and other difficulties. The pandemic intensified needs for many who struggled even before March 2020. This, too, will be part of the post-pandemic legacy. This will be a remnant, a ripple effect from a pandemic that affected the entire human race. How will the “new” you rebound and carry on with your family and community? What have we learned?
Think about it ...
john@thinkaboutithawaii.com