Page 28 - MidWeek - May 12, 2021

28 MIDWEEK MAY 12, 2021
Our ancient barbecue grill has blackened its last chicken breast
PATERNITY WARD D. L. Stewart
Here’s Why I’ve Had My Fill Of The Grill
and we’re shopping for a new one. There are a lot of choic- es, some of which are approx- imately the size of Air Force One. But we’ ve narrowed it down to:
burgers an hour ($10,741).
• An Imperial bucket grill, which looks like a water buck- et with a sports team logo on its side, and has room for one- and-a-half sliders on its grate
convince gullible men there’s something macho about standing on the patio wearing an apron and immolating a weenie.
she’s not fooling me. The only reason she encourages me to cook outside is because the alternative is that I will cook inside and she’ ll wind up spending two hours cleaning the kitchen afterward.
• The DCS Series 7 that comes with interior lights, electrical outlets, a sideburn- er and a sink with a faucet ($3,895).
get, though. I’ll still hate grill- ing. As far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing appealing about standing outside over a hot grill in 90-degree tem- peratures with smoke blow- ing in my face, when there’s a perfectly good gas range a few steps away in our air-con- ditioned kitchen.
“The barbecue is a superb example of justified idling,” a British columnist observed. “It involves lots of standing around ... and allows a male to appear busy while wom- en/guests/kids run around making salads, laying tables, cooling beers and generally
The author argues the merits of cooking on a grill outdoors, compared to cooking in the comforts of an air-conditioned kitchen.
• The Grillco propane gas corn roaster grill, which can roast 120 ears of corn every 60 minutes, plus other stuff, on its eight burners ($6,799).
It has been my long-held belief that grilling is a con- spiracy devised by women to
My wife says she loves it when I cook out and never fails to praise me when I car- ry in a platter of grilled burg- ers, no matter how black, dry and tasteless they may be. But
doing everything.”
Not every griller is man, of
up and their sausages sizzle. But, personally, I can feel just as macho standing in front of my kitchen stove in a pink
• The Crown Verity tailgate grill, which can cook 376
course. And maybe there real- ly are guys who get a testoster- one rush when the flames flare
tutu and cooking a quiche.
($39.99).
It doesn’t matter what we
To further their ploy, they induce men to wear aprons displaying messages such as, “An Apron is Just a Cape on Backwards.” Or, “This Is A Manly Apron, For A Manly Man. Doing Manly Things, With Manly Food.” I’ m em- barrassed to say men actually fall for stuff like that.
To be fair, some people see grilling as more evidence that men are lazy louts who stick women with all the actual work.
FREE VIRTUAL CAREER EXPO
Connecting employers and job seekers in a safe environment
• Visit virtual booths to learn about available jobs • Initiate private chats with company recruiters
• Upload resumés confidentially
SAVE THE DATES:
May 26 May 27
9 AM - 1 PM 10 AM - 2 PM
Register now at
HawaiiCareerExpo.com
presents
EMPLOYERS
For more information and to reserve a booth, visit HawaiiCareerExpo.com/booth Or contact Denise Ching • dching@staradvertiser.com • 529-4796
2021