Page 25 - MidWeek - April 21, 2021

I am a 31-year-old wom- an, and I can’t figure out why I’m having such a
THE SCIENCE ADVICE GODDESS
Amy Alkon
Needle In A Bae Stack
‘Ehukai is a small
girl who may look like a kitten, but she is actually 4 years old. She is very affectionate and playful with people. If you are looking for a cuddly cat, ‘Ehukai loves attention. She is FIV+, so she will need to be kept indoors. FIV is not contagious to humans, and FIV+ cats can live healthy, normal lives with proper care, just like any other cat. She will be happiest with a family that doesn’t mind her sticking by their side 24/7. If you are interested in meeting ‘Ehukai, schedule an appointment at hawaiianhumane.org/ adoptions. Adoptions continue to be by appointment only.
If ‘Ehukai has already found a family,
don’t worry! Hawaiian Humane Society
has lots of animals in need of homes, and their adoption representatives will work with you to find your perfect match. Keep updated on available animals, programs and coronavirus
updates at hawaiianhumane.org.
VISIT HAWAIIANHUMANE.ORG
hard time finding a man. I am attractive (in good shape and considered pretty), have a master’s degree, am successful in a competitive business, and I love to read and talk about news, history and ideas. I have wonderful friends; I’ve worked hard to resolve my issues; and I do my best to be a kind person. I just want my match: some- one who’s smart, highly ed- ucated, equally successful or more so, attractive (tall — at least 6-foot-1 — and mascu- line), passionate, well-read and a good person. What’s wrong with me that, even with online dating, I rarely find men even in the ballpark of what I want? – Miserable
predicted that the members of a species with the greatest costs from having sex (pregnancy and offspring to provide for) would be the most selective in choosing partners.
ment 1.4 to 1, and the gap has continued to widen, translating to an increasingly shrinking supply of those highly desired men with master’s degrees.
you could give your “list” of man minimums a hard look, and see whether there are any you could live with cutting, thus increasing your pool of possibilities.
Recall hypergamy, women’s preference for partners of high- er status: a sign a man’s likely to have continuing access to resources to provide.
This is a problem because evolved female emotions are your mate-choice watch- dog, motivating you to go for high-status men and making you feel bad about dating a man who’s a kind but ambi- tionless slacker, or even one who’s moderately achieving.
If you can’t scale back your standards, you should make peace with the likely outcome: You’ll probably continue to have a tough time finding the sort of man you want. Like other women looking for love who are high climbers on the career ladder, you might even- tually come to the conclusion that you have two choices: a nice, loving, hardworking guy a few rungs below you or one of those body pillows that you draw a face on and name Ted.
Unfortunately, there’s been a higher-ed “gender gap” for decades, with fewer men ap- plying to and graduating from college. In 2003, for example, four-year colleges in the U.S. graduated 1.35 women for ev- ery dude who found his way out. As of 2013, women out- paced men in college enroll-
In other words, you can’t just tell yourself you shouldn’t care about the job or education level a man has. Instead, make yourself be as hot for a suc- cessful plumber as you are for a successful lawyer. However,
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Grocery shopping’s easy when your list has generic items — “beer,” “chips” and “cheese” — and not cheese from free-range Albanian yaks raised by monks. You’re look- ing for “that special someone,” not “that random anydude.” You’ve developed yourself (advanced degree, cool job and smartgirl interests), which sharply narrows the pool of equally achieving men you have to choose from. Being a woman likely adds another layer of difficulty, through “hy- pergamy.” This is the strong evolved female motivation to “marry up” — or at least date partners of a higher socioeco- nomic status.
Women, in general, are the vastly choosier sex in the mat- ing market. This aligns with evolutionary biologist Robert Trivers’ 1972 theory of “pa- rental investment.” Trivers
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MidWeek’s
Pet Friends Forever
Outlined
PHOTO COURTESY HAWAIIAN HUMANE SOCIETY
‘EHUKAI