Too Good To Be True

The day after Thanksgiving, Black Friday, both my wife and daughter, according to their new “tradition,” went shopping. I had to work, so I was completely left out of it – a cause for celebration. Actually, I could have really celebrated for they both also found our Christmas tree. Believe me, not being dragged into that process made me feel like I just got freed from prison.

When they called me to let me know, I thought I was being pranked, for in my nearly 25 years of marriage, buying a Christmas tree has never been this easy. At this point all I had to do was pick it up. Since I no longer own a truck, I called my little brother and asked if I could use his van. I was expecting to get an earful about him having to clean up all the pine needles and use his gas, but he cheerily agreed, and even offered to pick me up and drive.

When he got to my house, a nice hot cup of coffee awaited his big brother, and we merrily went on our way. At the tree lot, there was zero confusion about which tree was mine. I gave the ticket to the attendant and he carried a beautiful, lush tree to my brother’s van and loaded it up.

When I got home, we put the tree in a stand and it was perfectly straight! I took out some pruning scissors, but like the Fonz about to comb his hair, nothing was out of place, and I could immediately move to stringing up the lights. I tested all the light strands and each and every one of them worked.

I wound each strand around the tree and placed our star on the top of the tree. I checked it from all angles and the star was not crooked in the slightest bit. I was going to fill the stand with fresh water, but my daughter was already doing it and she promised to check it and fill it every morning.

The Nagasawa Christmas tree experience for 2012 was going to go down in history as the most perfect in my entire life. I sat in my recliner and our dog Buddy jumped into my lap. I decided to belt out a few verses of O Christmas Tree to mark this joyous occasion.

That’s when I woke up.