Page 26 - MidWeek - May 31, 2023

26 MIDWEEK MAY 31, 2023
A ccording to a recent survey, 27.3% of Americans suffer from anxiety. The only expla- nation for that number is that the other 72.7% don’t have
PATERNITY WARD D. L. Stewart
Going To Bed Has Never Been So Worrisome
the internet keeps us from becoming complacent.
For most of my life, getting ready for bed was a routine requiring little thought and few concerns. Wash my face, brush my teeth, take off my clothes and hit the pillow.
Mass media always has been a reliable purveyor of worrisome news, of course; before the internet, the ma- jor reasons for concern were delivered by commercials on the three television networks. They urged us to worry about dandruff, halitosis, underarm odor and whether Mr. Whipple was squeezing our toilet paper.
But that was before I saw an internet article on Well+- Good that said I should never wash my face first, because toothpaste could accumulate on the skin around my mouth, aggravating rosacea and acne.
washed in the past two days, it probably is packed with yeast, mold and E. coli.
dermatophytoses because they’ re lousy with bacteria called pseudomonas aerugi- nosa, which is also common- ly found on cockroaches. In fact, they’ re dirtier than the TV remote, which reputedly
wearing socks.
And before I hit the pillow,
One piece of good news I found on the internet was a study mentioned by the BBC reporting that wearing socks to bed increased participants’ ability to achieve an orgasm by 30%.
With an occasional thought to those Soviet missiles.
After I wash my face, I have to worry about the tow- el I use to dry it. According to Real Simple, if it hasn’t been
pants and shoes can come off, but what about socks?
is “dirtier than a toilet.” All of which sounds like a good reason to never take the re- mote into the bathroom while
erate upward of 10 million bacterial units per square inch.
Today, we can summon up previously unimaginable concerns with a few finger taps, so now I can’t even get ready for bed without worry- ing.
According to HuffPost, socks worn all day can cause
On the other hand, with all 10 million of them — plus the rosacea, acne, yeast, mold, E. coli, dermatophytoses and pseudomonas aeruginosa — I’d be lucky if there was room for me in the bed anyway.
Before the internet, the major reasons for concern were delivered by commercials on the three television networks. They urged us to worry about dandruff, halitosis, underarm odor and whether Mr. Whipple was squeezing our toilet paper.
internet access.
Because, if nothing else,
If I survive brushing and washing, I still have to worry about the dangers of undress- ing, the internet warns. Shirt,
I worry about how long it’s been since it was washed. According to a study on Life- style A2Z, one month without washing a pillow could gen-
So tonight I guess I’ll just brush my teeth, wash my face, put on clean socks and hope for the best.
Hawaii’s Favorite Local Shows
PRESENTED BY
presented by
Join Yunji Di Nies and various experts as they discuss all things life and family planning to prepare you for making life’s biggest decisions.
Makani Tabura and his guests share the importance of keeping island traditions alive.
Certified Cicerone Tim Golden, and Mixologists Daniel Bruce & David Power dive into the exploding world of craft beer in Hawaii.
Lanai Tabura and Brook Lee talk story with artists, celebrities and community leaders.
HawaiiGetYourHouseInOrder.com
culturised.com
theartofbeer.com
itsahawaiithing.com
Watch it on KKAI 50. Also available on , Apple Podcasts and Spotify.