Page 24 - MidWeek - Sep 21, 2022

24 MIDWEEK SEPTEMBER 21, 2022
Kindt Clinics in Am- sterdam, which treats anxiety, pho- bias and PTSD, posted a job opening for someone who is able to vomit at will, NL Times reported on Sept. 4. The person who fills the part-time position will help patients who have a fear of vomiting, replacing a previ- ous employee who retired.
Job Wanted Ad: Looking For A Prolific Puker
through the passenger door, Austerman was subdued and arrested; officers found methamphetamine, marijua- na and a glass pipe in the car.
Early Departure
Farewell To Arm
now he’s speaking out about the danger of alligators.
Behold the cautionary tale of Eric Merda, who shared his harrowing story with WTSP-TV on Sept. 5. Mer- da was at the Lake Manatee Fish Camp in Myakka City, Florida, when he became lost in the woods on July 17. When he found the lake, he decided to swim across.
“You guys know who you are, throwing rocks at them. Leave them gators alone.”
Psychologist Maartje Kroesse, who posted the po- sition, said the response has been overwhelming.
Elizabeth Leon, 18, was hired to babysit a 4-year-old in Aventura, Florida, from 1:45 p.m. until midnight on Aug. 15, Local10 reported. When the child’s mother texted Leon at 11:14 p.m. to say she was headed home, Leon texted back that she was “heading out ... because her mother paid for an Uber to take her back home and it arrived ahead of time,” an arrest report said.
“Not the smartest decision a Florida boy could make,” Merda said.
Comic book creator Dale Keown has launched a You- Tube channel to talk about his own career and that of other cartoonists, Bleeding Cool reported. But on Sept. 8, Keown’s livestream got a little less lively when he fell asleep and the camera kept rolling — for over five hours. The beginning of the video includes Keown expounding on Marvel, Disney, the Hulk and his own drunkenness — and then he seems to just drop off into dreamland.
“There are many more ap- plications than expected. Our new transmitter is certainly among them.”
As he swam, a gator got hold of his forearm and dragged him underwater three times, he said, and “when we came up the third time, she finally did her death roll and took off with my arm.”
One hopeful applicant gushed, “Now I can finally share my art: vomit on com- mand!”
Let’s Crash At Ray’s Place
ILLUSTRATION BY MARK GALACGAC
The city of San Jose says it has no authority over the off- ramp but encourages drivers to slow down and obey traf- fic laws.
Repeat Offender
first for JiDion: He got a trim at a Timberwolves vs. Mav- ericks NBA game in March, and in July, he was banned for life from Wimbledon for blowing an air horn during a match between Novak Djokovic and Jannik Sinner.
Not So Sharp
Leon told the mother she had locked the door, and re- quested her $168 payment. The mother checked her Ring doorbell recording and saw that Leon had actually left at 9:45 p.m., leaving the child alone for more than two hours. On Aug. 22, Leon was charged with child ne- glect and transferred to jail, where she’s unlikely to leave early.
Merda, suffering inde- scribable pain, returned to shore and started to walk, trying to find his way out of the swamp. Three days later, following the sun and power lines, he found a fence and a man on the other side. Merda told the man what happened, and he summoned help.
Journalist and Bleeding Cool founder Rich John- ston, who was watching the stream, called it “so transfix- ing and mellowing.”
In other Weird happenings:
Accidents Will Happen
Ray Minter of East San Jose, California, has lived in his home since 1960, he told KTVU-TV. But since 1972, Minter’s house has been hit 23 times by cars as they exit the 680 South freeway. De- spite steel poles, installed by his insurance company, and a chain-link fence out front, cars still slam into his home.
During the U.S. Open ten- nis tournament on Sept. 6, as a match unfolded between Nick Kyrgios of Australia and Karen Khachanov of Russia at Arthur Ashe Sta- dium, two men in the stands stole the show for a few min- utes, the Associated Press re- ported.
In Fort Myers, Florida, Lee County deputies stopped to investigate a Nissan Alti- ma that was parked block- ing a bicycle lane on Sept. 3, NBC2-TV reported. Officers found a man reclining in the driver’s seat; after giving them a false name, he was asked to exit the vehicle.
Surgeons amputated what remained of Merda’s arm;
Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to weird- newsyips@amuniversal. com.
“I’ ve had four of the cars come through my house completely,” Minter said. “All the other ones have torn up my fence, and I’ ve lost three cars in the yard.”
YouTube prankster JiDion donned a barber’s cape while a second man gave him a trim with clippers — at least until tournament security arrived.
Amazingly, no one in his family has suffered serious injuries, although his niece had an arm broken and spent time in the hospital after one incident. Of the drivers, Minter said, “Most of them have been drunk. Like the guy in 2016. He hit (Minter’s car) at 105 mph.”
“They were escorted out of their seats and then off the grounds for disruption of play,” USTA’s Brendan McIntyre said. “There’s a first time for anything.”
That’s when Randy Aus- terman, 34, reached into the console and removed a 3-foot-long steel sword, then paused to attach a drag- on-shaped handle to the blade. Police backed off as Austerman poked the sword out the car’s window at them. As he tried to escape
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