Page 2 - MidWeek - Jan 19, 2022

2 MIDWEEK JANUARY 19, 2022
Embracing A Patient Care Role
Honest listening is one of the best medicines we can offer the dying and the bereaved. — Jean Cameron
WSimple Fixes?
On my last visit with Peter, as I was draw- ing his blood, I no-
ith so many modern conveniences and amaz- ing technological feats appearing frequently, there are still some things we have trouble
ticed the cowboy boots he was wearing and commented, “Great boots!”
No, I never did get the boots. Instead, I received the bless- ing of my first honest con- versation with someone who was about to die. For this, I will always be grateful. It changed my life, continues to provide inspiration for the work I do today and helped me clarify and claim my role with patients.
The Rev. Dr. Walt Weiss is a spiritual and bereave- ment care coordinator with Kaua‘i Hospice. He recently completed his doctorate of ministry at Claremont School of Theology and attends the Center for Spiritual Living Kaua‘i.
Chasing The Light is pro- duced by Lynne Johnson and Robin Stephens Rohr.
providing, and I preface this by saying others have surely talked, joked or written about some of these.
“I’ll make sure you get them when I die,” he said softly.
Like the fact that we can see zit marks on people’s faces with modern day technology from outer space or read the tattoo on their forearms from special gov- ernment cameras at malls and airports, but when some scofflaw robs a bank, the nightly news shows us a pic- ture that looks like a baby ultrasound or a shaky Pola- roid shot from 1968, with the perfunctory blurred guy in a hoodie and sunglasses.
It was 1987, toward the be- ginning of the AIDS epidem- ic. I was a physician assistant and study coordinator for an AIDS research unit in New York City. Peter had received the placebo in the study, which showed that AZT (az- idothymidine) extended sur- vival. By the time the study was unblinded and Peter re- ceived the treatment, it was too late. His disease had pro- gressed, and he did not have much time left to live. That day was the first time he had ever mentioned the possibili-
Honest conversations, even about death, can strengthen relationships and provide clarity.
Later, as I reviewed pa- tients with my attending physician, I related what had happened with Peter. To my surprise, I was severely repri- manded and told that I should never talk with patients about death; my role was solely to offer the hope of living. I dis- agreed at the time, as I still do to this day.
And while I can jam 5,000 songs onto my iPhone and carry on amazing video chats and get instantaneous location updates, I simply can’t get through that short distance known as the Pali Tunnel(s) without losing reception — cell phone, radio, you name it. It is 2022, so can we install the technology that will enable us to get through that challenging transition from town side to the windward side? I mean, if we can chat on a phone (please, no) at 30,000 feet, can’t we get through one one-tenth of a semi-enclosed mile without losing connection — hands-free, of course?
on his and asked how he felt about dying. Was there any- thing he felt he needed to do or say to prepare himself?
And speaking of the Pali Highway, we’ve heard of neighbors complaining that speed bumps are causing their houses to literally crack as some freewheelers go flying over the bumps, but now, growing potholes be- fore and after the speed bumps are causing motorists to slow down (or zigzag) even more. No problem, as we hear that Pali repairs will be done by year end. We just don’t know what year.
the blood specimens, looked into his eyes, placed my hand
Peter died the next week.
ty of his own death. Instinctively, I put down
He seemed glad to talk. Yes, he felt some sadness at leaving life so soon, he admitted, but he mostly felt gratitude for the many good things and people in his life. His thoughts as he faced death moved me greatly.
New Century Schoolbook bold (scaled H 73.6)
KELLEY
with The Rev. Dr. Walt Weiss
Kepler-452B is a cool (we think) exoplanet that we can apparently see, and it’s 8.2 quadrillion miles away. If we rode on our fastest current space probe there, it would take 26 million years to arrive on Kepler. Yet, while we rejoice seeing that dot well, I still can’t get a decent pair of eyeglasses that don’t smudge every single day.
These are the types of things that used to keep us up at night, or at least were weird wonders we pondered. But they were mere somewhat existential curiosities. Now, we obsess over mask microfibers, whether we’ll need a fourth vaccination this spring, and why is that guy coughing who just got on the elevator?! Ah, the good old days.
Think about it ...
john@thinkaboutithawaii.com