Page 2 - MidWeek - Dec 22, 2021

2 MIDWEEK DECEMBER 22, 2021
Having just returned from a glorious trip to Hawai‘i Island, I was reminded of just how unique a place it is — from Hilo to Honoka‘a, and Parker Ranch to Waikoloa. Hawi, Kawaihae, Nā‘ālehu, Pāhoa, Puakō, Volcano (the town), an active volcano, black sand beaches, snow, pani- olo, unique wildlife, vibrant agriculture ... the list goes on and on. While there, I visualized in real time that age-old question from non-akamai malahini: “Why do you folks even bother having a daily weather report in Hawai‘i?” Yes, ignorance rules. I saw fresh snow on Mauna Kea while it poured in Kailua-Kona yet ‘twas tranquil and sunny in Waikoloa. Microclimates galore rule on all of our islands.
The topic: Forgiveness is a teachable skill. I realized that I had the choice of responding to my feeling of devastation with skills of forgiveness or staying stuck in prolonged grief.
• Practice stress manage- ment: PERT (positive emo- tion refocusing technique).
Susan Foard, M.Ed, LMHC, is a forgiveness group facilitator. This treat- ment modality is based on the groundbreaking research of the Stanford Forgiveness Project. Learn by emailing sfoard51@gmail.com or call- ing 808-638-1669.
Chasing The Light is pro- duced by Robin Stephens Rohr and Lynne Johnson.
The Gift We Give Ourselves
Where To Go?
years and with all the tools in my counseling tool kit, I sim- ply could not get out of this dark, dark hole. I had been betrayed and was deeply dis- appointed in someone, which created a deep wounding in my soul.
others, you will have access to resilience skills, which will serve you throughout your life.
hile Christmas travel might not be on your agenda this year, we all feel like that day is coming once we get past omicron, or whatev-
er might be next. And with the thought of traveling comes an eternal question so often asked by our mainland friends: “Which island should I visit?”
Feeling despondent, I dragged myself to work the next day and a colleague in- vited me to a training on for- giveness given by the well- known Stanford University educator and author Dr. Fred Luskin. I muttered under my breath, “Forget it, I know all of this.” But I was happy to spend a day out of the office and went reluctantly.
Today, remarkably, after all the forgiveness work, the per- son who so deeply betrayed me is now a dear friend. It’s not because I have blinders on but I do know for sure that humans make mistakes and that forgiveness is a choice and the gift we choose to give ourselves.
Wow! What a quandary — even for locals. Each island has its own innate charms and special features, so it comes down to, “What are you looking for?” While we might find ourselves befuddled trying to answer the question if we opt for a staycation, it’s not that different than if someone traveled to New York, with New York City, Ni- agara Falls, West Point, Lake Placid, the Catskills, etc. Same thing with most other states that have disparate sites within. California? It has LA, San Francisco, the desert, Lake Tahoe and more. So many choices and so little time.
ophy and techniques was a game-changer.
yourself to feel better. For- giveness is for you and no one else.
“I promise if you keep searching for everything beautiful in this world, you Iwill eventually become it.” — Tyler Kent White
During the holiday season — and throughout the year — one of the greatest gifts we can give others and others is the gift of forgiveness.
was sitting home feeling sorry for myself. I’ve been a counselor for 42
I consider myself to be an intelligent, sophisticated woman. In reflecting back, I realized that I had lost my
On that game-changing day there were many revelations and guidance given on to how to begin a state of forgiveness.
• Keep seeking skills and wisdom in order to navigate this human experience. Un- cover your unenforceable expectations that you are de- manding of others. We have very little control of other people’s actions or behavior.
compass.
The day I spent with Dr.
New Century Schoolbook bold (scaled H 73.6)
Luskin along with 100 oth- er counselors who came to learn more about the philos-
• Know exactly how you feel about what happened.
• Once you acquire and practice these disciplines and
• Make a commitment to
KELLEY
with Susan Foard
We have so much great diversity here, in people, places, cultures, et al., that perhaps we take it for granted too often. Living local allows you the opportunity to go on a lifelong quest exploring myriad customs, histories, foodstuffs, flo- ra, fauna and off-shore treats that can simply amaze. So, that’s my resolution for the next year (or 10). Explore more, embrace the unknown, avoid same old, same old- ism; experience things I’ve not yet made a sincere effort or spent the time to explore, eat, play, learn or meet.
While many consider Hawai‘i a relatively “small” place, its contrasts and richness make it huge. There’s simply not much homogeneity here, just look further and wider. The melting pot that is Hawai‘i goes way beyond its bouillabaisse population base, if you just give it a try. So seek!
And merry Christmas! Think about it ...
john@thinkaboutithawaii.com