Page 29 - MidWeek - Dec 15, 2021

Inflation is noshing on our budgets, Christmas presents may be hard to find and yeah, yeah, there’s that omicron thing. But let’s not get distracted from more immediate concerns: Chrissy Teigen’s eyebrows.
PATERNITY WARD D. L. Stewart
When Eyebrows Get Caught In The Crosshairs
Chrissy Teigen, pictured with husband John Legend, was shamed on social media after getting her eyebrows fixed by a plastic surgeon.
PHOTO BY BUSINESS WIRE
I don’t know a whole lot about Chrissy or her eyebrows. Just about the only reason I’m aware of her at all, in fact, is because she’s married to sing- er John Legend, who was born in Springfield, Ohio, which is right around the corner from where I live. But she seems to get a lot more attention than he does, so maybe Springfield should put up a sign proclaim-
Her latest social media at- tention is linked to the fact that, due to years of self-con- fessed over-plucking, her eye- brows were disappearing. That might seem trivial, but the im- portance of eyebrows can’t be overstated. Groucho Marx and Eugene Levy might not have been nearly as funny without theirs. Andy Rooney was nota- ble for eyebrows so bushy that small animals could hibernate in them during winter. How- ever, Bert and Ernie enjoyed a long run on Sesame Street even though they had only one eyebrow between them.
Not everyone was impressed by her surgery. When she post- ed a video displaying her new eyebrows, it was reported that she was shamed on social me- dia and “slammed” over “out- of-touch” posts. One critic declared she was “seriously a cancer.” Another said, “Chrissy Teigen needs to disappear.”
There’s no immediate in- formation on how many peo- ple actually had heart attacks caused by Chrissy’s new eye- brows — or what she did with her old ones. Perhaps she do- nated them to people who suf- fer from serious eyebrow defi- ciency. I, personally, could use a new pair, because the ones I have are barely perceptible.
ing itself to be the birthplace of Chrissy’s husband.
extraction, which is the official medical term for ripping hairs out of the back of a human head and sticking them onto the front of the head.
kerfuffles than she is for being married to John Legend. This time she fired back at her critics with, “WHY are people so (ex- pletive) riled up over any little thing I do? You’re gonna give yourselves a heart attack.”
But when her eyebrows had been plucked to within an inch of their lives, Chrissy did what celebrity-types tend to do when
trying to achieve a more natu- ral look — she contacted her plastic surgeon. He immediate- ly performed a follicular unit
It’s not her first social media kerfuffle; she’s had them with everyone from Lindsay Lo- han to Sarah Palin. She may be even more famous for her
And, I swear I’ve never plucked.
DECEMBER 15, 2021 MIDWEEK 29
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