Page 29 - MidWeek - June 2, 2021

“If current progress toward
equal pay continues, the gender wage gap in Hawaii will not
close until 2052.”
(Institute for Women’s Policy Research)
www.ywcaoahu.org
Public service of
I ’m a woman in my ear- ly 20s. I’ m considered pretty, and I’m in good
THE SCIENCE ADVICE GODDESS Amy Alkon No Manchild Left Behind
Celebrating 100 years of service
In my 20s, upon moving from Michigan to Manhattan, I was quite the grandpa chaser. I have a thing for the lived-in male face and a ripened mind. But back then, I felt personal- ly and professionally adrift — unsure of who I was and what I wanted to do. Ultimately, I think I was drawn to much older men in the way Kate Winslet’s character was drawn to the door she clung to when The Titanic went down.
pick one). But, now, looking back through the lens of evo- lutionary psychology, the attri- butes that attracted me reflect the evolved female preference for men who can “invest”: provide for a woman and any children they had together.
This priority by women, found across cultures and even species, surely evolved because females (save for seahorses, pipefish and sea dragons) are the ones who get pregnant and left with babies to feed. Because the perils of single motherhood weren’t an issue for ancestral men, men evolved to prioritize physical attractiveness. This preference is sneered at as “superficial,” though it’s anything but. The features men are drawn to — smooth, unblemished skin, lustrous hair, full lips and youth — are cues to a wom- an’s health and fertility. Men who instead had the hots for wrinkly 70-year-old ladies wouldn’t have left any de- scendants to pass on their bid- dy-lusty genes.
bet for a number of reasons, including crushing alimony, sperm beyond their prime, and the possibility that you’ll be di- apering both a baby and a hus- band in relatively short order.
Unfortunately, in many younger men, 30 seems to be the new 18. Financially, the trappings of an adult life (like a house and children) are out of reach for many younger people in a way they weren’t in the past. Also, many of this generation grew up helicop- ter-parented, without the “Be home by dark!” independence of we who grew up in the ’70s and ’ 80s. Many got trophies just for showing up and either weren’t asked to do chores or were allowed to shrug them off. Is it really a shock when a guy doesn’t pop up at 23 brim- ming with adult responsibility and instead wants to play video games all day?
Your best bet is probably to look for guys just a bit older who may not be totally togeth- er in their career and finances but show potential. These are men who are ambitious, in- telligent and hardworking, with reasonable goals (that is, goals that seem realizable with- out the services of a wizard). Look for signs they care about more than their own immedi- ate comfort and ease — like by noticing when you’re cold and giving you their jacket.
more
s
nce 1921 NOW
JUNE 2, 2021 MIDWEEK 29
s
si
i
i
n
n
shape. I started dating sig- nificantly older men (in their 40s and early 50s). I love that they’re adults and I don’t be- come a girlfriend-slash-nan- ny, motivational coach and résumé editor like when I’m dating guys my age. But these older men and I are in different life stages with dif- ferent goals. They want to get married way sooner than I do, or they’ve had kids and don’ t want more. How can I trick my brain into want- ing men my age who are less emotionally and otherwise mature? —Elder Dater
These men had what might be called stability established careers in impressive, high-sta- tus fields and they lived in civ- ilized apartments (in contrast with my grim walk-up, so tiny you could breathe or think;
• Commercial and Residential
SERVING HAWAII
• Pest Control • Mosquito
$100 off
any initial service
Control
• Termite Treatments
Exp. 6/30/21
- Sentricon
- Sentricon Warranty
Inquiries
- Liquid Treatment
- Fumigation Alternatives
0% Interest Financing
CALL TODAY! 866-924-3059
PCO license #1620
OVER 25 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE
Your Project is Our Business
Design Build Contractor
Custom Kitchens + Bath
Renovations + Additions
Exterior Siding Installation + Repair
ADA-friendly and compliant bathrooms
CALL FOR FREE CONSULTATION (808) 478-6718
E
:c
Em
ma
a
i
i
l
l
:
ce
e
b
b8
80
0
8
8@
@
g
g
m
ma
a
i
il
l.c
c
o
o
m
m
www.cuttingedgebuildershawaii.com Lic. BC-34038
Alize is a 9-year-old terrier mix who loves to be the center of attention. She is the perfect dog to cuddle up with and take for pleasant strolls around the neighborhood. Alize is very friendly with people and would do best in a household with no small animals. She’s often spotted cuddling with volunteer dog walkers and has become a team favorite at Hawaiian Humane Society.
If you are interested in adopting this sweet girl, make an adoption appointment online at hawaiianhumane. org/adoptions or join the same-day waitlist (limited spots).
Alize also qualifies for Hawaiian Humane Society’s senior-for-senior special. This year-round deal waives the adoption fee for kūpuna older
than 55 who adopt senior pets older than 6 years old.
VISIT HAWAIIANHUMANE.ORG
Evolutionary psychologists David Buss and Todd Shack- elford find that women who are very physically attractive and thus high in mate value wanted all four of a cluster of mate characteristics in a man — those indicating that: he’ll invest; he’ll be a good parent; he’ll be a loving partner; and he has good genes to pass on (suggested by his physical health and sexiness).
To be fair, there are women with much older male partners who have happy, satisfying and maybe even magical relation- ships. Still, a good general rule might be that a guy’s probably too old for you if, when he was your age, he could’ ve called you “baby,” but “3-month-old
If you are high in mate val- ue — physically attractive, with other qualities men want in a partner (kindness, intelli- gence, etc.) — you’ll probably feel less willing to settle. This makes for some challenges. Much older men can be a bad
fetus” would’ ve been medically accurate.
MAHALO and STAY SAFE HAWAII
MidWeek’s
Pet Friends Forever
lined
PFF
Midweek’s
Pet s Friends Forever
ALIZE