Page 29 - MidWeek - April 28, 2021

A ccording to a fashion authority identified only as “Gen-Z,” three more fads are officially out of style this year: laugh- ing/crying emojis, hair parted on one side or the other, and
PATERNITY WARD D. L. Stewart
So Long To Mom’s Dungarees, And My Blue Jeans
skinny jeans.
I have no particular feel-
Whatever they were, they obviously were created for men built like storks. Getting into them involved contor- tions not designed for the av- erage adult man’s body. Get- ting out of them was worse; I found myself standing on one foot while struggling to free the other foot, all the while in fear of toppling over sideways.
ings about the alleged demise of the first two.
en’s. Not that it matters. For most of its life, my hair has done whatever it wanted and probably will continue to part itself wherever it pleases.
garded as the pants of choice for juvenile delinquents (as they were known then). So I had to plead with my mother to buy me a pair. Finally, she came home from the store one day and announced, “I bought you a pair of dungarees.”
compared to the shock of opening the bag and discover- ing that what she had brought homewasapairof...Wran- glers. She might as well have bought me a pink tutu.
At last count there were 3,303 other emojis, although there are predicted to be 3,353 by September (appar- ently emojis are like tiny little cartoon gerbils) and I seldom use any of them.
But jeans, skinny or not, al- ways have been problematic for me.
“These aren’t Levi’s,” I protested.
Since then I’ve gone through jeans that were high rise, midrise and low rise. Loose fit, slim fit and regu- lar fit. Straight, relaxed and tapered.
So thank you for decree- ing that skinny jeans are out, Gen-Z.
And I’m not sure if the side-part thing applies to men’s heads, or only to wom-
When I was entering my teens, blue jeans (as they were known then) were re-
I was mortified at hearing blue jeans referred to as dun- garees. But that was nothing
“What’s the difference?” she replied.
And a few years ago, after I had lost some weight, my wife brought home a pair of jeans she insisted would
Whoever you are.
What’s the difference?
How could she even ask that? The difference was that the most important thing in my world was looking cool. And how could anyone pos- sibly look cool wearing a pair of pants with a big stupid W stitched on the back pocket? Cool meant having that little red Levi’s tag on your right butt cheek.
make me look younger. I’ m not sure they were “skinny” jeans; they may have been “notasfatasIusedtobe” jeans.
APRIL 28, 2021 MIDWEEK 29
How could anyone possibly look cool wearing a pair of pants with a big stupid W stitched on the back pocket? Cool meant having that little red Levi’s tag on your right butt cheek.
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