Loafing Around

I really believe that couples who have been together for a long time can get complacent and set in their ways. It’s not for lack of love or anything, but just being so comfortable with the way things have been. Like a wise person once said, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”

My wife and I have been married for 25 years. I recently realized something after all that time.

Seems like every week, especially after we had kids, that whenever I went to make myself a sandwich or some toast, I was stuck with the two ends of the loaf of sliced bread. My wife and kids call them the “butt” of the bread. How that comes to be is that those two pieces are always the last two in the bread bag and no one but me will eat them.

We eat a lot of bread in our house, and my wife’s brand is Love’s Hawaii’s Hearth Breads 100 Percent Whole Wheat. Of course, I don’t believe in any waste of food, so I will eat the butt bread, although it would be nice to have a regular slice or two once in a while.

The other day I decided to make myself a sandwich and once again was stuck with the two end pieces of the loaf. I was fed up and called my wife into the kitchen. I demanded to know why she never ate those two pieces of bread. She looked at me and mouthed the word, “Really?” She then explained, “Those pieces are too dry, I won’t eat them.” For lack of an argument, I blurted out, “Well, lady, you need to get off your high horse and lower your standards!”

For a full 10 seconds she stared at me, and the silence was deafening.

Then, with a straight face, she retorted, “I married you, didn’t I?”

We then started laughing so hard that we both doubled over. When the laughing subsided, she explained, “I thought that was your favorite part of the bread. I always saved it for you.” I replied, “I always ate it so you wouldn’t feel guilty about wasting it.”

I guess what we have is true love. Either that or a gluten intolerance.